The more things change...

This is why I've been quiet the last few months. I got engaged to the love of my life and have been nurturing that long-distance relationship while planning a wedding, working two full-time jobs, and completing 12 graduate school credits. Trying to write here and there proved impossible, but that bothered me because writing is the most important thing to me. Maybe that's why I'm running from it...more on THAT in a future post...

Now, I'm getting married 100 days from today, which will change everything. It will change my name, my location, what I am accountable for before God and who I am accountable to. The Lord is granting me a second chance at love that feels like a first chance, the compatibility and connection and safety between Sam and I is like nothing I thought was possible on this earth.

Getting married will also change nothing - unless I let it. I know this firsthand. My first marriage failed for reasons that had to do with my ex and with me; the reasons that had to do with me were based in the lie that I should be able to stay exactly who I am and be loved. The whole point of marriage is to represent the relationship Jesus has with His bride (the church) on the earth, and that requires growth and change. If Sam and I run as hard after Jesus together as we both did alone before we met, we will HAVE to change. Marriage done well catalyzes the transformation of both spouses into more and more of who God intended them to be in Christ and into better and better partners for each other.

I'm so deeply blessed to get the chance to do this for real with the kindest, quirkiest, smartest (literally: he was the valedictorian of his class of over 400!), funniest Jesus follower I will ever hope to meet. Thus, this newsletter will (continue to) be a bit more sporadic as I also have a masters degree to finish, a big move to undergo, and a new life to build with my best friend (I know, it sounds SO cliché but I 100% understand why people say that now). I'm not shutting it down, though; just going at a random pace, at least for now.